Well the fateful day arrived a few weeks ago - Number 2 has grown out of his sling. No longer will I be able to stuff him, silent and unmoving, arms akimbo like some tiny Michelin Man, into the sling strapped to my chest and set off on a roll through my local village. The reason is simple - he is now so big that he can stand on my thighs and completely obscure my vision. He further increases the discomfort by gleefully throwing his head back and cracking me on the bridge of my nose with his rock-like head! So - goodbye Baby Bjorn!
Before any children arrived my wife and I spent some time trying out every conceivable sling. It was obvious to me that the only type that would work for me would be a forward slung carrier type. The backpack designs would be too dangerous - the risk of tipping the wheelchair over backwards is just too great. The side-sling designs (which my wife prefers) are impractical as I need full freedom of movement with both arms. Simply sitting the child on my lap is not safe until they learn to hold on - something that Number 2 still has not quite grasped at 16 months. Of the chest carriers that I tried, the best was by far and away the Baby Bjorn. It was comfortable to wear, easy to put on, and both children loved being in it. The only complaint is that it can get very uncomfortable in hot weather - but they introduced a lighter material version after ours was bought.
When the children were small it worked very well. As they grew, the problems grew. Once their feet could reach my legs, while in the sling, they would push against them, almost over-balancing me on occasion. However, it is such a convenient way of carrying the children that I lived with this.
Number 2 is walking now...staggering around like a drunken sailor is more accurate. So the sling has been hung up for the last time. Unless a number three is Bjorn again...
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Whale watching in Provincetown, MA
I took Number 1 on a whale watching trip along with two of my cousins and my sister-in-law. It was a huge success, although Number 1 was so over-stimulated by the end of the day that we had a spectacular melt-down at home.
We went with Dolphin Fleet of Provincetown. Some of their boats are more suitable for wheelchair than others, so you have to call in advance to see when they better ones are sailing. We went on Dolphin VIII. This was okay for a light manual chair like mine, but a heavy, or a wide, or an electric chair would have no hope of getting on-board. The staff were enthusiastic and eager to help. Getting on-board involved going down a long steep ramp (angle depends on the tide), hopping a large step and then up a short ramp onto the boat itself. The outdoor areas on the lower deck were fully accessible, although so narrow that my chair could barely fit at the narrowest point (my chair is 68.5cm wide). To get inside involved negotiating a tall (8", 18cm) thin lip typical on boats. It would be possible with assistance from the staff, but not easy. The toilets had wide doors and were large enough for my chair, but had the same lip to negotiate. I did not need to use them on this trip.
It would be possible to go alone with a child, but Number 1 had a lot more fun because her aunt was able to take her up stairs for a better view. She will be three next month (the child, not the aunt!) and I was worried that she would be bored but in the event she loved it and had a permanant grin plastered to her face.
This particular ride was quite rough and as a T4 with limited balance, I had to hang on to a rail at all times, but none of our party were sick and we got to see some whales.
Check it out, do your homework, and it might work out for you too.
We went with Dolphin Fleet of Provincetown. Some of their boats are more suitable for wheelchair than others, so you have to call in advance to see when they better ones are sailing. We went on Dolphin VIII. This was okay for a light manual chair like mine, but a heavy, or a wide, or an electric chair would have no hope of getting on-board. The staff were enthusiastic and eager to help. Getting on-board involved going down a long steep ramp (angle depends on the tide), hopping a large step and then up a short ramp onto the boat itself. The outdoor areas on the lower deck were fully accessible, although so narrow that my chair could barely fit at the narrowest point (my chair is 68.5cm wide). To get inside involved negotiating a tall (8", 18cm) thin lip typical on boats. It would be possible with assistance from the staff, but not easy. The toilets had wide doors and were large enough for my chair, but had the same lip to negotiate. I did not need to use them on this trip.
It would be possible to go alone with a child, but Number 1 had a lot more fun because her aunt was able to take her up stairs for a better view. She will be three next month (the child, not the aunt!) and I was worried that she would be bored but in the event she loved it and had a permanant grin plastered to her face.
This particular ride was quite rough and as a T4 with limited balance, I had to hang on to a rail at all times, but none of our party were sick and we got to see some whales.
Check it out, do your homework, and it might work out for you too.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Off on vacation...
Although I travel a lot for work, travelling with the kids is not something I do very often. We have been a bit home bound since number 2 arrived. But this being July, and the weather being good, we loaded up the trusty Ford Taurus Station-wagon and headed North to Cape Cod, a drive of more than 500 miles (800km) and two days.
My wife has to take on most of the burden when we travel, as I have moaned about before. She packs for the kids, herself and the journey. I pack my stuff. I help Number 1 into the car (it is very difficult for me to lift Number 2 into his car seat) and strap her in then get in myself. My wife is left trying to fit three suitcases, a stroller, a wheelchair and the various bits and pieces of travel, into the car in 100F (38C) heat - an activity guaranteed to make her grumpy.
Driving long distances in the USA is not generally a big issue for the wheelchair user. Most rest-stops and restaurants have accessible toilets. Indeed, US residents have really no idea how good they have it until they travel in Ireland, England or one of the less civilized European countries like Italy. Indeed, the only problem with long distance driving is that thousands of other drivers do it too - on my roads, clogging them up and extending my journey hours.
We don't try and take the 500miles in one chunk - that would be unfair on the children, and my legs would seize. So we split the journey and over-night along the way. My aim is to drive 5-6hours in a day, then rest. After 6 hours in the car my rear end (which normally has no sensation) is tingling with ghost pins and needles.
But we made it. And I am looking forward to a week of 100% family time, with Number 2 clinging on to my lap and Number 2 running on the beach - alas, inaccessible to me.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Travel Notes: Hilton Hotel, LAX, Los Angeles, CA
Hilton Hotel, LAX, Ca.
Entrance is up a hill from the street, but level access. Check in was fast and friendly. No options offered on room (in fact they said they had only one handicapped accessible room available. As it turned out it had direct access to the pool so I wasn't complaining!).
All areas of the hotel are accessible. The bar is up 4 or 5 steps, and the wheelchair access is retrofitted. there is a very steep ramp (about 1:6) which I (foolishly) tried to wheel up. Almost impossible for a manual self-propelled chair. However, there is also a chair lift that the staff can operate if the ramp proves impossible. Once at the bar level, there are further ADA compliant ramps to the various levels of the bar.
One very pleasant side effect of the split levels in the bar is that at one end, the bar is a comfortable height to sit at with a wheelchair. So it is one of the few bars I have ever been at where I could actually belly up to the bar and have a beer! The food is pretty good too.
Room was extra large, King bed, plenty of room to wheel around it. Bed about 2" (5cm) above wheelchair cushion height and I found it tricky to transfer in on and off. Good size work desk, electric socket in the lamp and the desk within easy reach. WiFi Ethernet. The clothes closet was in an awkward to reach place, and the clothes hangers were too high and out of reach. TV controls left by the bed within easy reach.
Accessible tub, wall mounted shower hose. Plenty of grab rails in the right places, but the inner wall of the tub was almost flush with the bathroom wall making it difficult to use the tub itself as a leaning place. Wall mounted sink with legroom underneath.
Entrance is up a hill from the street, but level access. Check in was fast and friendly. No options offered on room (in fact they said they had only one handicapped accessible room available. As it turned out it had direct access to the pool so I wasn't complaining!).
All areas of the hotel are accessible. The bar is up 4 or 5 steps, and the wheelchair access is retrofitted. there is a very steep ramp (about 1:6) which I (foolishly) tried to wheel up. Almost impossible for a manual self-propelled chair. However, there is also a chair lift that the staff can operate if the ramp proves impossible. Once at the bar level, there are further ADA compliant ramps to the various levels of the bar.
One very pleasant side effect of the split levels in the bar is that at one end, the bar is a comfortable height to sit at with a wheelchair. So it is one of the few bars I have ever been at where I could actually belly up to the bar and have a beer! The food is pretty good too.
Room was extra large, King bed, plenty of room to wheel around it. Bed about 2" (5cm) above wheelchair cushion height and I found it tricky to transfer in on and off. Good size work desk, electric socket in the lamp and the desk within easy reach. WiFi Ethernet. The clothes closet was in an awkward to reach place, and the clothes hangers were too high and out of reach. TV controls left by the bed within easy reach.
Accessible tub, wall mounted shower hose. Plenty of grab rails in the right places, but the inner wall of the tub was almost flush with the bathroom wall making it difficult to use the tub itself as a leaning place. Wall mounted sink with legroom underneath.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Travel Notes: John Jay Best Western, Palmdale, CA
John Jay Best Western - Palmdale, CA
An overnight visit. Level access into the lobby. I was given a handicapped room - no options with respect to shower, bath etc. The room was reasonably sized, enough space to wheel around. The King Size bed was way too high - about 4" (10cm) above wheelchair cushion height. I was able to transfer in and out but it was not easy and would be troublesome for many.
The work desk was large, but electric sockets were underneath the desk, on the wall, and well-nigh impossible to reach. The wired Ethernet was easy to reach.
TV controls were left on top of the TV, I was able to find them by scrabbling about blindly.
Bath was an accessible tub, and they could have done with an extra grab rail at the end of the bath. The shower rose is fixed to the wall and out of reach. It was angled in such a way that it was impossible to get water to hit your body - it was aimed at the wall. Towels were on mid-height shelf, not difficult to reach. Sink unit is separate from the bathroom and had plenty of leg room underneath.
This is an older, lower budget hotel. It could do with a makeover, but it is clean and the staff are friendly. Okay for a reasonably strong, independent wheelie, but could be problematic for power chair users or quads.
An overnight visit. Level access into the lobby. I was given a handicapped room - no options with respect to shower, bath etc. The room was reasonably sized, enough space to wheel around. The King Size bed was way too high - about 4" (10cm) above wheelchair cushion height. I was able to transfer in and out but it was not easy and would be troublesome for many.
The work desk was large, but electric sockets were underneath the desk, on the wall, and well-nigh impossible to reach. The wired Ethernet was easy to reach.
TV controls were left on top of the TV, I was able to find them by scrabbling about blindly.
Bath was an accessible tub, and they could have done with an extra grab rail at the end of the bath. The shower rose is fixed to the wall and out of reach. It was angled in such a way that it was impossible to get water to hit your body - it was aimed at the wall. Towels were on mid-height shelf, not difficult to reach. Sink unit is separate from the bathroom and had plenty of leg room underneath.
This is an older, lower budget hotel. It could do with a makeover, but it is clean and the staff are friendly. Okay for a reasonably strong, independent wheelie, but could be problematic for power chair users or quads.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Travel Notes: Hard Rock Hotel, Las Vegas, NV
Hard Rock Hotel - Las Vegas
I was here for just a quick business meeting. Excellent hotel, off strip. There is level access from the taxi/drop-off doors. Valets took my baggage at the door and were very helpful. Check-in was fast and pleasant. They asked if I wanted roll-in shower or accessible tub. I took the tub as that is my preference, but was glad to note that they had the option. In the event, they gave me a roll-in shower but I did not bother to rectify the error.
The room was spacious and well fitted out, two queen beds with wheeling room between. Water and a mini-bar was provided (watch the prices!!). The bed was about wheelchair cushion height. Large bathroom, with grab rails in all the right places. The roll-in shower was spacious, with a fold-up seat by the shower controls. Hand held or wall mounted shower rose - selectable by a wall mounted control. Easy to operate and transfer to and from the seat. Bathroom sink had plenty of legroom underneath.
The business area was well laid out, with electric plugs and wired Ethernet at table height. Controls for the large flat screen TV were left within easy reach for a wheelie. All in all no problems.
Like all Vegas casino/hotels, the establishment is large, and wheeling across those deep pile carpets takes it out of you. But all areas seemed accessible. I had no opportunity to check access to the pool, but the spa is accessible and they have a handicapped accessible shower (with shower seat) in the changing area. I had to use the spa to get a massage for an extremely painful shoulder which is still in a bad way as I write this. The massage was great, but its effects, alas, were temporary. The only fault in the spa was the lack of a changing bench or somewhere a wheelie could lie to dress and undress.
All in all, very impressive. Recommended. (Note: The theme here, not surprisingly, is Rock music. So public areas are noisy and energetic. If this is not your thing, then avoid! The rooms are quiet.)
I was here for just a quick business meeting. Excellent hotel, off strip. There is level access from the taxi/drop-off doors. Valets took my baggage at the door and were very helpful. Check-in was fast and pleasant. They asked if I wanted roll-in shower or accessible tub. I took the tub as that is my preference, but was glad to note that they had the option. In the event, they gave me a roll-in shower but I did not bother to rectify the error.
The room was spacious and well fitted out, two queen beds with wheeling room between. Water and a mini-bar was provided (watch the prices!!). The bed was about wheelchair cushion height. Large bathroom, with grab rails in all the right places. The roll-in shower was spacious, with a fold-up seat by the shower controls. Hand held or wall mounted shower rose - selectable by a wall mounted control. Easy to operate and transfer to and from the seat. Bathroom sink had plenty of legroom underneath.
The business area was well laid out, with electric plugs and wired Ethernet at table height. Controls for the large flat screen TV were left within easy reach for a wheelie. All in all no problems.
Like all Vegas casino/hotels, the establishment is large, and wheeling across those deep pile carpets takes it out of you. But all areas seemed accessible. I had no opportunity to check access to the pool, but the spa is accessible and they have a handicapped accessible shower (with shower seat) in the changing area. I had to use the spa to get a massage for an extremely painful shoulder which is still in a bad way as I write this. The massage was great, but its effects, alas, were temporary. The only fault in the spa was the lack of a changing bench or somewhere a wheelie could lie to dress and undress.
All in all, very impressive. Recommended. (Note: The theme here, not surprisingly, is Rock music. So public areas are noisy and energetic. If this is not your thing, then avoid! The rooms are quiet.)
Monday, June 30, 2008
Travel Notes: Dulles Airport, Washington D.C.
On the list of the many things I dislike, I keep a special spot for Dulles Airport (Washington D.C.) At least it gets on the list – there are a few airports that no sane wheelchair user should consider, even for transfers, and they don’t get on my list because they are below wasting the emotional energy on them. (For the record: JFK, New York; CDG, Paris; PHL, Philadelphia – until they sort out the baggage handling and stop losing wheelchairs) To be fair to Dulles (IAD on the airport code list) it makes an effort to be accessible. The problem is that it was designed in the 60s and they had no idea of how it would be used in the 21st century. Principle problems are:
No mass transit public transport access. So you have to take a taxi or your car (the buses are not accessible)
If you can afford to leave your car in the Daily (as opposed to the Economy) parking lot you have a huge walk to the terminal
Once you get to the terminal you have to wheel up a tremendously long slope. There is no elevator.
The TSA (security) staff is by far the worst that I deal with on the many airports I travel through. Actually, that’s a little unfair. It’s a lottery. Some days they are pleasant, efficient, and effective. Other days it’s the complete opposite. No other airport that I know of has the same bi-polar personality.
The stupid little “moving lounges” that you have to take to get to the gates.
I’m in Dulles as I write this – having kissed goodbye to my beloved family earlier to day and left my wife at the mercy of our children for four whole days…
I will shortly board a United flight to Las Vegas. United, in general, has been pretty good for flying, with just the occasional mess. But nothing terrible (not like US Airways who forgot to load my wheelchair in PHL, or Sabena – now defunct – who crushed it in the baggage gate). We’ll see how things go…
The saving grace of Dulles? Vino Volo.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Frustrations
One of the most frustrating part of being a wheelchair dad is the inability to do so many simple little things that daddies can do. Carry the luggage when we travel. Help carry number 1 up the stairs while wife struggles with buggy and number 2. Fix a curtain rail, hang a picture, lift that book down from the high shelf. I guess this frustration is not specific to being a dad - it's just that the constant state of exhaustion that having young children induces exaggerates the effects. My wife is already worn out without having to deal with these little things.
Every time I think of something I would like us to go - a trip somewhere, it is immediately followed by the realization that my wife has to carry the biggest burden of the logistics. I can drive the car, I can hold a child (or children) for a while. But I can't load the car, I can't help with the simple little chores of the day.
One of the secrets to survival in a wheelchair is to focus on the positive. When we can walk we can do maybe, 10,000 things, when we lose the ability to walk we can do maybe 9,000 things. So you focus on the 9,000 and forget the other 1,000. But where that breaks down is when we have to watch someone we love struggle with one or two of those 1,000 things because we are unable to do them. That's the bit that is most difficult to deal with and is the bit that reminds you about the dis in disability.
Every day is a journey - through sadness and joy, through pain and pleasure, through focusing on the positive and controlling the negative.
Every time I think of something I would like us to go - a trip somewhere, it is immediately followed by the realization that my wife has to carry the biggest burden of the logistics. I can drive the car, I can hold a child (or children) for a while. But I can't load the car, I can't help with the simple little chores of the day.
One of the secrets to survival in a wheelchair is to focus on the positive. When we can walk we can do maybe, 10,000 things, when we lose the ability to walk we can do maybe 9,000 things. So you focus on the 9,000 and forget the other 1,000. But where that breaks down is when we have to watch someone we love struggle with one or two of those 1,000 things because we are unable to do them. That's the bit that is most difficult to deal with and is the bit that reminds you about the dis in disability.
Every day is a journey - through sadness and joy, through pain and pleasure, through focusing on the positive and controlling the negative.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Getting pushed around...
Number 2 came out of the bedroom this evening at around dinner time. He started walking about 8 weeks ago, and still staggers with the gait of a sailor on shore-leave. With great purpose he got behind my wheelchair and started to push it. He was unable to steer (not surprising - since he can't see over the back!) so I provided some steering assistance where appropriate. But he knew where he was going. We went into the kitchen, he pushed me all the way to his feeding table, then grabbed the tray of the feeding table and started to attempt to climb in while looking at me imploringly. I think he was hungry!
I'm getting worried. It looks like I will shortly lose the freedom to park my chair wherever I want in my house - I will be subject to the whims of Number 2 and wheeled unceremoniously wherever he wants me to go. I'm, not sure if this is progress or not...
I'm getting worried. It looks like I will shortly lose the freedom to park my chair wherever I want in my house - I will be subject to the whims of Number 2 and wheeled unceremoniously wherever he wants me to go. I'm, not sure if this is progress or not...
Sunday, June 22, 2008
The Sticky-Pokey-Grabby-Thing
Once I lived alone in a nice apartment. I had almost no furniture - a bed, a table, and a futon. It suited me perfectly since I had plenty of free floor space, and I always had my own chair so seating was never an issue. My friends were less pleased, but they sat on the floor and, after a sufficient quantity of beer or wine, quit complaining.
Then I got married.
Gradually my idyllic place became more and more cluttered with...stuff. Feminine touches appeared. Real furniture arrived - sofa, armchairs, shelving units...lots of other stuff. I was not too perturbed. The available space for wheeling in became less, but it was still manageable. A reasonable sacrifice for the joys of marriage, I figured.
Then we had kids.
Even kid number one changed my world utterly. Now I live in a constantly churning chaos of clothes, toys, baby stuff, spilled yogurt, spoons, jigsaw pieces and unidentified items that someone dragged in from the garbage outside. The available track for my wheelchair is limited to a narrow path from the front door to the kitchen - frequently obstructed by scooters, books, crayons or other miscellaneous abandoned objects. Considering the size of a toddler, they seem to occupy a phenomenal amount of space! Apart from being a prisoner in my own home, the sea of stuff has the unfortunate side effect that I cannot access many parts of each room in my home. And, with a probability of one, that inaccessible part will contain whatever item is needed urgently - right now. Be it a toy, a bottle, an upside down yogurt gradually emptying it's contents into my wife's contact lens case, there is no doubt that I will need to reach that spot and be able to pick something up.
My only saviour in these situations is a device we fondly refer to as "the sticky-pokey-grabby-thing" (or, as Number 1 calls it: "the icky-oaky-wabby" - she is well able to use it also). This is a long handled claw-like device commonly available in adaptive device stores (try here (US) or here (UK)) and more properly called a "reacher".They come in various forms, but my favorite is a magnetic tipped one with a large jaw. You open and close it via a trigger at the handle end. This device has proved so useful that I have several all over the house, ready for instant use, and two folding ones in the car (how many times have you transferred out of your car only to realise that you left that important envelope or whatever on the passenger seat, way out of your reach from outside the car?)
It is also useful for sweeping under sofas to retrieve balls, cars and fragments of peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches. I use to for retrieving items from the high shelves and cupboards in the kitchen (where my wife stores all the chocolate in the mistaken belief that I can't get it there!).
They're cheap, incredibly useful, and an absolute must have for any wheelchair person - with or without kids to destroy their living environment.
Then I got married.
Gradually my idyllic place became more and more cluttered with...stuff. Feminine touches appeared. Real furniture arrived - sofa, armchairs, shelving units...lots of other stuff. I was not too perturbed. The available space for wheeling in became less, but it was still manageable. A reasonable sacrifice for the joys of marriage, I figured.
Then we had kids.
Even kid number one changed my world utterly. Now I live in a constantly churning chaos of clothes, toys, baby stuff, spilled yogurt, spoons, jigsaw pieces and unidentified items that someone dragged in from the garbage outside. The available track for my wheelchair is limited to a narrow path from the front door to the kitchen - frequently obstructed by scooters, books, crayons or other miscellaneous abandoned objects. Considering the size of a toddler, they seem to occupy a phenomenal amount of space! Apart from being a prisoner in my own home, the sea of stuff has the unfortunate side effect that I cannot access many parts of each room in my home. And, with a probability of one, that inaccessible part will contain whatever item is needed urgently - right now. Be it a toy, a bottle, an upside down yogurt gradually emptying it's contents into my wife's contact lens case, there is no doubt that I will need to reach that spot and be able to pick something up.
My only saviour in these situations is a device we fondly refer to as "the sticky-pokey-grabby-thing" (or, as Number 1 calls it: "the icky-oaky-wabby" - she is well able to use it also). This is a long handled claw-like device commonly available in adaptive device stores (try here (US) or here (UK)) and more properly called a "reacher".They come in various forms, but my favorite is a magnetic tipped one with a large jaw. You open and close it via a trigger at the handle end. This device has proved so useful that I have several all over the house, ready for instant use, and two folding ones in the car (how many times have you transferred out of your car only to realise that you left that important envelope or whatever on the passenger seat, way out of your reach from outside the car?)
It is also useful for sweeping under sofas to retrieve balls, cars and fragments of peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches. I use to for retrieving items from the high shelves and cupboards in the kitchen (where my wife stores all the chocolate in the mistaken belief that I can't get it there!).
They're cheap, incredibly useful, and an absolute must have for any wheelchair person - with or without kids to destroy their living environment.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
On falling out of bed and the unfortunate consequences
I was fiddling around on the web this evening when there was a thump from the babies' room followed by a whimpering. I recognized instantly the sound of Number 1 falling out of her bed. (She has been sleeping in a twin bed for the last couple of months and falls out of it occasionally.) The mattress is about 6 inches from the carpeted floor so she doesn't hurt herself, but the shock in the middle of her sleep upsets her (not surprisingly!) So I went in.
I found her sobbing on her knees by the bed - sobbing and saying "Mama" but not actually awake! This presents one of the more frustrating dilemmas for a dad in a wheelchair. How do I get her back in to bed without waking her? All the interactions with Number 1 involves some co-operation from her. I cannot simply lift her straight from the floor and cradle her in my arms, not since she got big anyway! Number 2 is just about borderline (if he's wearing dungarees or something like that) but Number 1 is way too big. I hugged her, whispered in her ear, but in the end her mother had to come in and sweep her into bed.
I found myself frustrated that I could not lift her up and cradle her...such a simple thing. If any one has any ideas for that...I'm all ears!
I found her sobbing on her knees by the bed - sobbing and saying "Mama" but not actually awake! This presents one of the more frustrating dilemmas for a dad in a wheelchair. How do I get her back in to bed without waking her? All the interactions with Number 1 involves some co-operation from her. I cannot simply lift her straight from the floor and cradle her in my arms, not since she got big anyway! Number 2 is just about borderline (if he's wearing dungarees or something like that) but Number 1 is way too big. I hugged her, whispered in her ear, but in the end her mother had to come in and sweep her into bed.
I found myself frustrated that I could not lift her up and cradle her...such a simple thing. If any one has any ideas for that...I'm all ears!
Imparting Special Memories...
When Number 1 was younger, we were eating out in a local restaurant. It is a small, intimate place, with tables quite closely packed. I wheeled into the restaurant with Number 1 sitting on my lap. I noticed a lady at an adjacent table give me a very strange look, which I interpreted as disapproval. Ignoring her, We took our table and settled in. I saw her getting up and approaching us. I braced myself for something that could be an unpleasant encounter, preparing my arguments. We had every right to bring our child with us, and carrying her on my lap is perfectly safe even if it looks dangerous to others. But instead, she said something like the following:
"Excuse me for intruding, but I just saw you come through the door with your beautiful daughter on your lap. My father was in a wheelchair, and I still remember riding on his lap as a very young girl. It was the best place in the world - I always felt like a princess when I was there. Seeing you brought all those memories back to me, I hope you don't mind me sharing!"
Mind? It was lovely - a truly beautiful statement and one that I still think of often. It is worth remembering that we wheelchair parents can impart feelings and memories to our children that are unique to our situation. A case of enrichment, not loss.
"Excuse me for intruding, but I just saw you come through the door with your beautiful daughter on your lap. My father was in a wheelchair, and I still remember riding on his lap as a very young girl. It was the best place in the world - I always felt like a princess when I was there. Seeing you brought all those memories back to me, I hope you don't mind me sharing!"
Mind? It was lovely - a truly beautiful statement and one that I still think of often. It is worth remembering that we wheelchair parents can impart feelings and memories to our children that are unique to our situation. A case of enrichment, not loss.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
On Changing Tables
Changing tables are another problem area for the wheelchair parent. Most are designed to have storage beneath them, which is very handy for walkies, but means that a wheelchair user must park sideways to the table to get close enough to manipulate the baby. This is a very awkward position and really not practical for regular use. Our life saver in this regard came from Ikea and is called the Gullivar Changing Table. It hangs on the wall and folds up when not in use. Since you hang it yourself, it is possible to position it at the ideal height for a wheelchair to roll under it while still giving a comfortable working height for a walkie. Indeed, having used changing tables in many places, my wife claims that the Ikea one has been much easier on her back than the usual ones you can buy. I have found it excellent, and can heave the infant from my lap onto the table. There are pockets on the back that can be used to store nappies/diapers, wipes, creams etc. I can't reach the top pockets, but with the essentials in the lower pockets I get by just fine. The table can hold up to 25kg(50lbs) and we used it for Number 1 right up until she was potty trained at 33 months. I have never seen anything else that could even come close to being usable for me.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
On lap carrying
Carrying the little ones on my lap when they are small is always a bit nerve racking. I have mastered the art of wheeling one handed while holding the baby on my lap with the other. It's tedious and slow, but it can be done (until you meet a ramp). Number 2 though, at fourteen months, has just passed the danger threshold. In the last week he has learned to grip my shirt in his tiny hand and hang on for grim death. It makes a huge difference, as I can now wheel two-handed and travel more or less freely (or as freely as possible with a big lump on your lap). I remember when Number 2 reached the same stage (at about the same age). Now it becomes possible to leave the buggy/stroller behind and go out with Number 2 on my lap and Number 1 walking (for short distances). A whole new level of freedom.
Another thing both Number 1 and Number 2 enjoy is standing on my feet with their torso between my knees and arms around my thighs. We can travel around the house like this, although it's too dangerous a position for outside wheeling. Number 1, being more daring than his older sister, has taken to standing facing forward. he seems to love the feeling of whizzing forward at (to him) breakneck speed towards a wall, and then the turn at the last second to navigate that door into the bathroom for a nappy (diaper) change!
Another thing both Number 1 and Number 2 enjoy is standing on my feet with their torso between my knees and arms around my thighs. We can travel around the house like this, although it's too dangerous a position for outside wheeling. Number 1, being more daring than his older sister, has taken to standing facing forward. he seems to love the feeling of whizzing forward at (to him) breakneck speed towards a wall, and then the turn at the last second to navigate that door into the bathroom for a nappy (diaper) change!
Of Cribs and Feeding tables
I mentioned Babee Tenda in the previous post, so I thought this would be a good topic to do as the first "meat" of the blog. The fundamental problem is that most cribs are really not usable for a parent in a wheelchair. We visited umpteen stores when we were expecting Number 1, and I tried every crib I could find. Not by climbing in and sleeping in it, you understand, I was merely trying to see if I could get a baby into or out of it, over the side. Almost every design involves sliding the side wall down a few inches to permit a walkie to lean over and pick up the child, or place them in it. It seemed to me that even with the sidewall lowered, there was no way I could safely transfer the child. I would be working from a sitting position, either lined up sideways to the crib, or at a 90 degree angle, and my balance is very poor once my arms are extended to the front. Add to that the weight of the baby and it seemed I would be better off trying to pitch the child from the other side of the room. It was utterly inconceivable that my wife would have to do all the morning and bedtime and naptime routines so we had to look further afield.
What we found was the Babee Tenda crib. This crib acts like any other, for the most part, with the important exception that it has a door on the side. So you have the option of moving the side up and down (which my wife preferred) or placing the child in the crib through the door (which worked for me). Even using the door was not a trivial operation due to my problems with balance, but it was possible and, most importantly, safe. (I guess if you had a lot of children you could afford to drop a few, but we had only the one at the time and I felt that it would be improper to toss her around like a sack of potatoes as she would be very hard to replace if we broke her!) We ended up purchasing a crib on eBay. It was described as "gently used by two beautiful children" - how any child can "gently use" anything is beyond me, no matter how beautiful they are! In any case, I drove to North Carolina to collect it (a 13 hour round trip) and, to be fair, it was in very good condition. It still is, having been "gently used" by a further two beautiful children, and as I write this Number 2 is happily ensconced therein, with one leg stuck through the bars and his head stuck into a corner. How do babies find the most uncomfortable positions to sleep in? So we have no complaints about the quality and durability of this product.
The catch that operates the door is more than childproof - most adults can't manage it either, and it took us a while to get the hang of it. It requires good finger dexterity and strength so if your disability is such that you have weak or restricted fingers you may have a problem locking and unlocking the door.
The door has some other great benefits apart from wheelchair accessibility. As the children became older and more mobile we could leave the door open and give them the freedom to leave the bed when they wanted. Number 1 liked to leave the door open for her afternoon nap, but wanted it closed at night, I guess to make her feel more secure. Number 2, at thirteen and a half months, is not quite at that stage yet, but even in the mornings all I need to do to get him out of bed is open the door and he will happily wiggle over to it, turn around, and slide his legs out until they touch the ground.
While driving to NC to pick up the crib my wife called to say she had also bought a Babee Tenda Feeding Table from the same seller. I had to stop at a bank to get some extra cash to pay the folk. We did less research into this, but it turned out to be a great buy also. The problem with feeding tables (and high chairs) is the same as cribs - it's very hard to get a child into and out of it when sitting and with bad balance. Indeed, the high chair transfer is a particularly dangerous operation. The Babee Tenda has an exceptionally large table all around the seat. I found that I could lean my elbows on the table, grasp the infant firmly and lever them out without lifting my elbows with no risk of dropping them. Then it was relatively simple to "walk" to an upright position with my elbows and grasp the child to my chest. This is still not a trivial operation, especially as they get older, and even now I prefer to let my wife take Number 2 out when he is done. But the point is that I can do it if I have to.
The unexpected side benefit of this table is that the feeding tray is so large that most of the food stays on it instead of falling over the sides onto the floor as it does with other feeding tables we have tried. Don't get me wrong, the floor can still look like a biology experiment after mealtimes, but less so than it does with our travel feeding table, or the other tables we have used in restaurants or friends' homes. So the Babee Tenda products get five stars for making life for this wheelchair Dad just a little easier.
What we found was the Babee Tenda crib. This crib acts like any other, for the most part, with the important exception that it has a door on the side. So you have the option of moving the side up and down (which my wife preferred) or placing the child in the crib through the door (which worked for me). Even using the door was not a trivial operation due to my problems with balance, but it was possible and, most importantly, safe. (I guess if you had a lot of children you could afford to drop a few, but we had only the one at the time and I felt that it would be improper to toss her around like a sack of potatoes as she would be very hard to replace if we broke her!) We ended up purchasing a crib on eBay. It was described as "gently used by two beautiful children" - how any child can "gently use" anything is beyond me, no matter how beautiful they are! In any case, I drove to North Carolina to collect it (a 13 hour round trip) and, to be fair, it was in very good condition. It still is, having been "gently used" by a further two beautiful children, and as I write this Number 2 is happily ensconced therein, with one leg stuck through the bars and his head stuck into a corner. How do babies find the most uncomfortable positions to sleep in? So we have no complaints about the quality and durability of this product.
The catch that operates the door is more than childproof - most adults can't manage it either, and it took us a while to get the hang of it. It requires good finger dexterity and strength so if your disability is such that you have weak or restricted fingers you may have a problem locking and unlocking the door.
The door has some other great benefits apart from wheelchair accessibility. As the children became older and more mobile we could leave the door open and give them the freedom to leave the bed when they wanted. Number 1 liked to leave the door open for her afternoon nap, but wanted it closed at night, I guess to make her feel more secure. Number 2, at thirteen and a half months, is not quite at that stage yet, but even in the mornings all I need to do to get him out of bed is open the door and he will happily wiggle over to it, turn around, and slide his legs out until they touch the ground.
While driving to NC to pick up the crib my wife called to say she had also bought a Babee Tenda Feeding Table from the same seller. I had to stop at a bank to get some extra cash to pay the folk. We did less research into this, but it turned out to be a great buy also. The problem with feeding tables (and high chairs) is the same as cribs - it's very hard to get a child into and out of it when sitting and with bad balance. Indeed, the high chair transfer is a particularly dangerous operation. The Babee Tenda has an exceptionally large table all around the seat. I found that I could lean my elbows on the table, grasp the infant firmly and lever them out without lifting my elbows with no risk of dropping them. Then it was relatively simple to "walk" to an upright position with my elbows and grasp the child to my chest. This is still not a trivial operation, especially as they get older, and even now I prefer to let my wife take Number 2 out when he is done. But the point is that I can do it if I have to.
The unexpected side benefit of this table is that the feeding tray is so large that most of the food stays on it instead of falling over the sides onto the floor as it does with other feeding tables we have tried. Don't get me wrong, the floor can still look like a biology experiment after mealtimes, but less so than it does with our travel feeding table, or the other tables we have used in restaurants or friends' homes. So the Babee Tenda products get five stars for making life for this wheelchair Dad just a little easier.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Why?
The first entry on a blog is always the hardest. Where do I begin? Well, why is always a good starting point so....
I am a paraplegic, I have a wonderful family, and I live an active life, working and travelling and, with my wife, raising two kids. On the web I have found really very little information that is practical and useful for a person in my position. So I decided to start a blog to share my experiences about life, the universe, and the experience of being a daddy who is "differently abled" (to use that horrible term - more on this at some later date maybe). This is not (will not be) a place for me to talk lovingly about my wonderful family (tempting as that may be). I intend to keep to the topic of "living with a disability" and to discuss my family and my experiences only in that context. If you want gushing descriptions about wonderful children from "unbiased" parents - well the web is full of that kind of stuff.What I do want to try to focus on, is how disability shapes my ability to function and engage with our society - both inside and outside the home. So I may get a little philosophical sometimes, but I certainly intend to get practical (for example - why I think Babee Tenda cribs and feeding tables are the greatest invention since...well cribs and feeding tables were invented! More on this later I hope). It is the lack of practical information for disabled parents (or those considering becoming parents) that I find most frustrating. Perhaps this little corner of the web will help address that.
Read my disclaimer if you make any decisions based on my experiences. These are my experiences, and mine only (hands off!) and I cannot speak for anyone else.
That's it for "Why?". I now have to figure out how to get a blog up and running...
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