One of the most frustrating part of being a wheelchair dad is the inability to do so many simple little things that daddies can do. Carry the luggage when we travel. Help carry number 1 up the stairs while wife struggles with buggy and number 2. Fix a curtain rail, hang a picture, lift that book down from the high shelf. I guess this frustration is not specific to being a dad - it's just that the constant state of exhaustion that having young children induces exaggerates the effects. My wife is already worn out without having to deal with these little things.
Every time I think of something I would like us to go - a trip somewhere, it is immediately followed by the realization that my wife has to carry the biggest burden of the logistics. I can drive the car, I can hold a child (or children) for a while. But I can't load the car, I can't help with the simple little chores of the day.
One of the secrets to survival in a wheelchair is to focus on the positive. When we can walk we can do maybe, 10,000 things, when we lose the ability to walk we can do maybe 9,000 things. So you focus on the 9,000 and forget the other 1,000. But where that breaks down is when we have to watch someone we love struggle with one or two of those 1,000 things because we are unable to do them. That's the bit that is most difficult to deal with and is the bit that reminds you about the dis in disability.
Every day is a journey - through sadness and joy, through pain and pleasure, through focusing on the positive and controlling the negative.
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