Whale watching in Provincetown, MA

I took Number 1 on a whale watching trip along with two of my cousins and my sister-in-law. It was a huge success, although Number 1 was so over-stimulated by the end of the day that we had a spectacular melt-down at home.

We went with Dolphin Fleet of Provincetown. Some of their boats are more suitable for wheelchair than others, so you have to call in advance to see when they better ones are sailing. We went on Dolphin VIII. This was okay for a light manual chair like mine, but a heavy, or a wide, or an electric chair would have no hope of getting on-board. The staff were enthusiastic and eager to help. Getting on-board involved going down a long steep ramp (angle depends on the tide), hopping a large step and then up a short ramp onto the boat itself. The outdoor areas on the lower deck were fully accessible, although so narrow that my chair could barely fit at the narrowest point (my chair is 68.5cm wide). To get inside involved negotiating a tall (8", 18cm) thin lip typical on boats. It would be possible with assistance from the staff, but not easy. The toilets had wide doors and were large enough for my chair, but had the same lip to negotiate. I did not need to use them on this trip.

It would be possible to go alone with a child, but Number 1 had a lot more fun because her aunt was able to take her up stairs for a better view. She will be three next month (the child, not the aunt!) and I was worried that she would be bored but in the event she loved it and had a permanant grin plastered to her face.

This particular ride was quite rough and as a T4 with limited balance, I had to hang on to a rail at all times, but none of our party were sick and we got to see some whales.

Check it out, do your homework, and it might work out for you too.

Off on vacation...

Although I travel a lot for work, travelling with the kids is not something I do very often. We have been a bit home bound since number 2 arrived. But this being July, and the weather being good, we loaded up the trusty Ford Taurus Station-wagon and headed North to Cape Cod, a drive of more than 500 miles (800km) and two days.

My wife has to take on most of the burden when we travel, as I have moaned about before. She packs for the kids, herself and the journey. I pack my stuff. I help Number 1 into the car (it is very difficult for me to lift Number 2 into his car seat) and strap her in then get in myself. My wife is left trying to fit three suitcases, a stroller, a wheelchair and the various bits and pieces of travel, into the car in 100F (38C) heat - an activity guaranteed to make her grumpy.

Driving long distances in the USA is not generally a big issue for the wheelchair user. Most rest-stops and restaurants have accessible toilets. Indeed, US residents have really no idea how good they have it until they travel in Ireland, England or one of the less civilized European countries like Italy. Indeed, the only problem with long distance driving is that thousands of other drivers do it too - on my roads, clogging them up and extending my journey hours.

We don't try and take the 500miles in one chunk - that would be unfair on the children, and my legs would seize. So we split the journey and over-night along the way. My aim is to drive 5-6hours in a day, then rest. After 6 hours in the car my rear end (which normally has no sensation) is tingling with ghost pins and needles.

But we made it. And I am looking forward to a week of 100% family time, with Number 2 clinging on to my lap and Number 2 running on the beach - alas, inaccessible to me.

Getting pushed around...

Number 2 came out of the bedroom this evening at around dinner time. He started walking about 8 weeks ago, and still staggers with the gait of a sailor on shore-leave. With great purpose he got behind my wheelchair and started to push it. He was unable to steer (not surprising - since he can't see over the back!) so I provided some steering assistance where appropriate. But he knew where he was going. We went into the kitchen, he pushed me all the way to his feeding table, then grabbed the tray of the feeding table and started to attempt to climb in while looking at me imploringly. I think he was hungry!

I'm getting worried. It looks like I will shortly lose the freedom to park my chair wherever I want in my house - I will be subject to the whims of Number 2 and wheeled unceremoniously wherever he wants me to go. I'm, not sure if this is progress or not...

On falling out of bed and the unfortunate consequences

I was fiddling around on the web this evening when there was a thump from the babies' room followed by a whimpering. I recognized instantly the sound of Number 1 falling out of her bed. (She has been sleeping in a twin bed for the last couple of months and falls out of it occasionally.) The mattress is about 6 inches from the carpeted floor so she doesn't hurt herself, but the shock in the middle of her sleep upsets her (not surprisingly!) So I went in.

I found her sobbing on her knees by the bed - sobbing and saying "Mama" but not actually awake! This presents one of the more frustrating dilemmas for a dad in a wheelchair. How do I get her back in to bed without waking her? All the interactions with Number 1 involves some co-operation from her. I cannot simply lift her straight from the floor and cradle her in my arms, not since she got big anyway! Number 2 is just about borderline (if he's wearing dungarees or something like that) but Number 1 is way too big. I hugged her, whispered in her ear, but in the end her mother had to come in and sweep her into bed.

I found myself frustrated that I could not lift her up and cradle her...such a simple thing. If any one has any ideas for that...I'm all ears!

Imparting Special Memories...

When Number 1 was younger, we were eating out in a local restaurant. It is a small, intimate place, with tables quite closely packed. I wheeled into the restaurant with Number 1 sitting on my lap. I noticed a lady at an adjacent table give me a very strange look, which I interpreted as disapproval. Ignoring her, We took our table and settled in. I saw her getting up and approaching us. I braced myself for something that could be an unpleasant encounter, preparing my arguments. We had every right to bring our child with us, and carrying her on my lap is perfectly safe even if it looks dangerous to others. But instead, she said something like the following:

"Excuse me for intruding, but I just saw you come through the door with your beautiful daughter on your lap. My father was in a wheelchair, and I still remember riding on his lap as a very young girl. It was the best place in the world - I always felt like a princess when I was there. Seeing you brought all those memories back to me, I hope you don't mind me sharing!"

Mind? It was lovely - a truly beautiful statement and one that I still think of often. It is worth remembering that we wheelchair parents can impart feelings and memories to our children that are unique to our situation. A case of enrichment, not loss.

On lap carrying

Carrying the little ones on my lap when they are small is always a bit nerve racking. I have mastered the art of wheeling one handed while holding the baby on my lap with the other. It's tedious and slow, but it can be done (until you meet a ramp). Number 2 though, at fourteen months, has just passed the danger threshold. In the last week he has learned to grip my shirt in his tiny hand and hang on for grim death. It makes a huge difference, as I can now wheel two-handed and travel more or less freely (or as freely as possible with a big lump on your lap). I remember when Number 2 reached the same stage (at about the same age). Now it becomes possible to leave the buggy/stroller behind and go out with Number 2 on my lap and Number 1 walking (for short distances). A whole new level of freedom.

Another thing both Number 1 and Number 2 enjoy is standing on my feet with their torso between my knees and arms around my thighs. We can travel around the house like this, although it's too dangerous a position for outside wheeling. Number 1, being more daring than his older sister, has taken to standing facing forward. he seems to love the feeling of whizzing forward at (to him) breakneck speed towards a wall, and then the turn at the last second to navigate that door into the bathroom for a nappy (diaper) change!